Have you ever turned off the lights, slid under the covers, and hoped your partner wouldn’t notice that you’re wearing a top that’s three sizes too big? Or, worse, avoided intimacy altogether? If that’s you, you’re not alone.

According to a recent body confidence survey I conducted, 54% of women admit they keep the lights off during intimacy with their long-term partner. Yes, more than half of us are literally hiding in the dark, even with the person who’s supposed to love us most.

Let’s pause for a moment: isn’t that heart-breaking?

But honestly, is it surprising? We’re bombarded 24/7 by images of perfect, airbrushed, filter-smoothed bodies on social media. It’s no wonder so many women feel like they’re falling short.

And here’s the thing: we’re not just feeling bad about ourselves—we’re letting those insecurities creep into the most personal, sacred moments of our lives. We’re dimming our light and hiding from partners who already know our quirks and stretch marks, and who probably don’t care about that cellulite on our thighs nearly as much as we do.

This isn’t just about sex or intimacy.

It’s about how we’re showing up in our own lives. How can we fully embrace our bodies if we’re stuck obsessing over whether we look “good enough” doing it? We’ve got careers, kids, partners, friends, and a million other things on our plates. Somehow though, there’s always room on the mental menu for guilt about our bodies. Sound familiar?

Here’s the truth, though: the problem isn’t our bodies. It’s the unrealistic expectations we’ve been sold about what they should look like, especially after 30. Newsflash: you don’t have to look like you’re 21 to feel amazing.

Your body doesn’t have to be perfect to deserve love, admiration, or (gasp) a little light on during sexy time. What it does need is respect, kindness, and a little TLC—from you.

So how do we start breaking the cycle of self-doubt and self-criticism?

By reclaiming our confidence and refusing to let social media or outdated beauty standards dictate how we feel about ourselves. And trust me, it’s not about perfection; it’s about progress. You don’t need to overhaul your entire life or body to feel better—just a few small steps can create big shifts.

Not sure where to begin? That’s where I come in. I created the Body Confidence Breakthrough Quiz to help women like you take the first step toward feeling more confident in their own skin. It’s quick, free, and designed to help you pinpoint what’s holding you back and how you can start showing up as the vibrant, self-assured woman you deserve to be.

So, are you ready to turn the lights back on? Take the quiz today, and let’s start your journey to becoming Confidently You. Because life’s too short to live in the shadows—especially when you’re the one dimming the light.